[Prep.]
Kyllä nyt hieman ottaa nuppiin, kun olisi aikaa ja resursseja väsätä oikein kunnollinen kauhuspessu, mutta mieliala on vääränlainen. Miten oikea mieliala saavutetaan? En tiedä. Mökille lähtö varmaankin auttaisi. Teen sen, jos odottamani puhelu ei saavu vähään aikaan. Toinen asia, jota en tiennyt, on se, että milloin Halloween oikein on. Kuulemma pitäisi olla pyhäinpäivän aattona. Ja sitten sen kuuluisi olla viimeinen päivä lokakuuta. Ongelma vain on se, että pyhäinpäivä on toinen marraskuuta. Lopulta päädyin lokakuun viimeiseen päivään, sillä niin on aina ollut. Nyt siis katson vähän matskua 7 Days a Skepticistä ja ehkä pari muuta hermostuttavaa klippiä ja odotan puhelua ja jos odotan turhaan niin lähden ehkä sinne mökille.
~ Noin kolme tuntia myöhemmin ~
I never got my phone call. It's a bit sad, really. Also, it's the perfect weather for Halloween, on Halloween. Heavy rain, complete darkness and a chilling breeze. Too bad I haven't got any friends with whom I would spend this magical evening. Or then I do, but I haven't been informed of it.
Anteeksi tuosta. Kuuntelin juuri kolmisen tuntia nonstoppina englanninkielisiä podcasteja. Don't judge.
[/Prep.]
Tervoteloa teikät. Tässä blogitekstissä katsastamme muutamaa tavallista lyhkäisempää creepypastaa. Micropasta on se virallisempi nimi. Ei ehkä ihan virallinen, mutta käypä ainakin. Toivottavasti istut mukavasti ja osaat englantia, sillä minä en jaksanut / ehtinyt / ollut tarpeeksi motivoitunut suomentamaan näitä. Aloittakaamme.
Ensimmäinen micropasta on nimeltään "Evening Routine" ja credit on osoitettu nimimerkille "Sangth". Olen tuonut sen, kuten muutkin pastat, suoraan tänne blogiin, jotta Teidän ei tarvi huolehtia epäluotettavista linkeistä ja jotta mobiililukijatkin pääsevät heti lukemaan. Olkaa hyvät:
" Don't look up at the mirror.
You know how that always goes. They look up at the mirror and it's right there behind them. Just stare down and turn the sink handle. Reach over for the towel. No. Whatever you just felt isn't there. Bring your hand back, you don't need to dry them anyway, you're going to bed. Keep your head down, keep your hair over your face like a visor, look at your feet when you turn around. Now pull open the door. Don't look ahead down the hall, of course it'll be standing right there watching you, just keep looking down, act like you're half awake, maybe you can fool it. Turn left and go straight ahead. Don't look down the left or right halls as you reach your door, don't even indulge your peripheral vision, just get there.
Go to your computer and turn off the screen. You know exactly where the switch is. Don't look at what's flashing on the screen. You know that whatever is on there isn't what you left on. Just kneel and hold the power button. It should only take five seconds or so. Come on. Now turn and walk to your dresser just like before. No, don't look at its feet, look at yours. Keep looking down and walking. Don't walk too slow. Don't walk too fast. Pull off your shirt. Don't take forever getting the thing off, just do it quickly. Same with your trousers. Careful. Don't trip yourself. Open the drawer and put them both in. Who cares if it's just one of the shirts, don't look at what else is in there. Just close it. Some of the shirt got caught at the top. Open it again, shove it in, close it.
Ok. Now turn again. Look down. Don't stand too close to the bottom of the bed. Don't let it grab your ankles. Just get on the bed. Now move the pillows and lie on your side with your back to the wall. Keep your eyes closed. Ignore the freezing wall. Grip the covers from the inside tightly, in case it tries to pull them off. Keep your eyes shut.
Don't listen to it.
Keep your eyes shut. Go to sleep. "
Sellainen. Kiva piku tarina aiheellisesta vainoharhaisuudesta ja kliseistä. Stoori löytyi osoitteesta http://www.creepypasta.com/, kuten myös tämä seuraava. Otsikkona "100,000", kirjoittaja tuntematon. Pitemmittä puheitta:
" It might happen one morning that you wake up home alone. This could be normal depending on your situtation, but this morning will be different. While your environment will all seem exactly the same, you'll notice that everything is quieter than normal. If you go outside, you will find a distinct lack of anything like birds, insects... or people. As far as you travel, you will not encounter another sentinent human being. The entire world will be intact, but empty with the exception of yourself.
There are currently over a hundred thousand missing persons cases in the United States alone. Some are just normal cases of murder or kidnappings, but in others, the disappearance cannot be explained and no remains of the person are never located. "
Tätä pastaa mietiskelen joskus, kun olen yksin kotona ja lähden kävelylle. Yleensä illuusion rikkoo joku auto tai muu kadulla liikkuva juttu. Seuraavan tarinan löysin joskus joltain sivustolta, mutta en löydä sitä enää mistään. En voi siis antaa krediittejä kenellekään. En ole edes varma, onko tällä edes otsikkoa. Tiedosto on nimeltään "You never think it will be you", joten se varmaan käy otsikosta.
" You never think it will be you. We grow up hearing about all these horrible stories on the news, watching all these chilling movies, reading horror novels... but after every book or movie, there is always that glimmer of relief that it isn't you.
I remember that feeling. I miss it, I do. I've lived in the dark for so long now, not knowing what will happen next. I'm scared. I'm alone. I'm confused. Why me? I ask over and over and over again. I've asked so many times now that I'm not sure I even want an answer. Trapped, with no one to help me. I'm just waiting for the next time I see him. It's only a matter of time. I'm unsure what will happen. I suppose it just depends on the mood. With all my pain and suffering, with everything I've gone through, there's one thing I'm thankful for.
I'm glad I never became the victim. "
Vaikuttaa vähän aloittelijan kirjoitukselta, mutta silti erittäin hyvä micropasta. Viimeinen rivi iski kanalta lihat irti. No, siinä oli kolme hyvää pikku tarinaa. Onko tämä teksti valmis? Ei. Seuraava tarina löytyi Redditistä. Nimimerkki Mr_Halloween kirjoitti tarinan "Joking":
" Daddy told me he was coming back. He left with his magic stick and told me to stay inside, no matter what, and wait for him. Daddy is funny. He left me alone with Mommy. And me and Mommy are waiting now, just waiting for Daddy.
Me and Mommy heard noises from outside. It was like a funny groaning. Mommy was scared, but I thought it was funny! Daddy was just joking with us. We heard bangs outside. They hurt my ears. Me and Mommy heard screams, too. They sounded like Daddy's, but Daddy's just joking, I know it! And me and Mommy are waiting now, just waiting for Daddy.
Me and Mommy have been stuck inside for a long long time now, and my tummy hurts. We can hear bangs on the windows now. Me and Mommy can hear groans, too, some even like Daddy's! Mommy is crying now, but I know Daddy is joking. I hope he is. Mommy just gave me some water, she said it was all we had. But I know Mommy is joking. Right?
My tummy rumbled really loudly. It rumbled almost as loud as the door breaking as I saw Daddy tumble through. "
Zombie-maailmanloppu viisivuotiaan näkökulmasta. Vaikka kaikkia alkavat varmaan pikkuhiljaa zombie-tarinat kyllästyttää, ainakin minua, tämä oli varsin hieno. Karmiva ja yllättävä, niin kuin hyvän pastan tulee olla. Vielä yksi micropasta ja sitten pääsette nauttimaan illan pääateriasta. Tämäkin juttu löytyy Redditistä. "Storytelling". Nimimerkki mirand23.
" 'There was once an attractive woman, walking by her lonesome in the middle of the night. She had no idea what was in store for her, as she strode past the dimmed out coffee shop to her car. I followed close behind, making sure not to alert her of my presence, as that would do no good for either of us. I did not enjoy a struggle, but as I recounted my past missteps, I kicked a can, alarming my prey. However, by the time she knew something was wrong, I had her. Now, she's tied up in my basement, listening to the story of her own de...'
My captor stopped as I began to cry under my blindfold and attempted a muffled scream through my gag.
'Shh, shh, shh, he whispered, as he stroked my sweat-matted hair, 'The story isn't over yet.' "
Meinasin ennen tuota sanoa, että tarina kerrotaan naisen näkökulmasta, mutta se olisi ollut spoileri ja Te olette muutenkiin niin fiksuja, että tajusitte sen varmasti itsekin.
Ja nyt, naiset ja herrat, esitän Teille pikku jalokiven. Tämä ei ole micropasta, vaan ihan laillisen kokoinen creepypasta. Sanoisin jopa, että kyseessä on oma henkilökohtainen suosikkini. Tämä pasta on hyvin tunnettu ja se on kuulemma voittanut joskus jonkun palkinnon(citation needed). Kuulin tarinan ensimmäistä kertaa, kun Simon Lane luki sen YoGPoDin jaksossa 44. Tarina kulkee nimellä "The Smiling Man" ja sen on kirjoittanut Reddit-käyttäjä blue_tidal. Enjoy.
" About five years ago I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I've always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.
I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few minutes of one evening.
It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and I was walking near a police patrolled park quite a ways from my apartment. It was a quiet night, even for a week night, with very little traffic and almost no one on foot. The park, as it was most nights, was completely empty.
I turned down a short side street in order to loop back to my apartment when I first noticed him. At the far end of the street, on my side, was the silhouette of a man, dancing. It was a strange dance, similar to a waltz, but he finished each "box" with an odd forward stride. I guess you could say he was dance-walking, headed straight for me.
Deciding he was probably drunk, I stepped as close as I could to the road to give him the majority of the sidewalk to pass me by. The closer he got, the more I realized how gracefully he was moving. He was very tall and lanky, and wearing an old suit. He danced closer still, until I could make out his face. His eyes were open wide and wild, head tilted back slightly, looking off at the sky. His mouth was formed in a painfully wide cartoon of a smile. Between the eyes and the smile, I decided to cross the street before he danced any closer.
I took my eyes off of him to cross the empty street. As I reached the other side, I glanced back... and then stopped dead in my tracks. He had stopped dancing and was standing with one foot in the street, perfectly parallel to me. He was facing me but still looking skyward. Smile still wide on his lips.
I was completely and utterly unnerved by this. I started walking again, but kept my eyes on the man. He didn't move.
Once I had put about half a block between us, I turned away from him for a moment to watch the sidewalk in front of me. The street and sidewalk ahead of me were completely empty. Still unnerved, I looked back to where he had been standing to find him gone. For the briefest of moments I felt relieved, until I noticed him.
He had crossed the street, and was now slightly crouched down. I couldn't tell for sure due to the distance and the shadows, but I was certain he was facing me. I had looked away from him for no more than 10 seconds, so it was clear that he had moved fast.
I was so shocked that I stood there for some time, staring at him. And then he started moving toward me again. He took giant, exaggerated tip toed steps, as if he were a cartoon character sneaking up on someone.
Except he was moving very, very quickly.
I'd like to say at this point I ran away or pulled out my pepper spray or my cellphone or anything at all, but I didn't. I just stood there, completely frozen as the smiling man crept toward me.
And then he stopped again, about a car length away from me. Still smiling his smile, still looking to the sky.
When I finally found my voice, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. What I meant to ask was, "What the fuck do you want?!" in an angry, commanding tone. What came out was a whimper, "What the fuu…?"
Regardless of whether or not humans can smell fear, they can certainly hear it. I heard it in my own voice, and that only made me more afraid. But he didn't react to it at all. He just stood there, smiling.
And then, after what felt like forever, he turned around, very slowly, and started dance-walking away. Just like that. Not wanting to turn my back to him again, I just watched him go, until he was far enough away to almost be out of sight. And then I realized something. He wasn't moving away anymore, nor was he dancing. I watched in horror as the distant shape of him grew larger and larger. He was coming back my way. And this time he was running.
I ran too.
I ran until I was off of the side road and back onto a better lit road with sparse traffic. Looking behind me then, he was nowhere to be found. The rest of the way home, I kept glancing over my shoulder, always expecting to see his stupid smile, but he was never there.
I lived in that city for six months after that night, and I never went out for another walk. There was something about his face that always haunted me. He didn't look drunk, he didn't look high. He looked completely and utterly insane. And that's a very, very scary thing to see. "
Kiitos lukijoille. Hyvää illanjatkoa.
" "
